Gaslighting is a term that’s gained popularity in recent years and it’s for this reason I believe it deserves some clarification. Gaslighting is a term used to describe a type of manipulation and is often a psychological control tactic. Typically, the victims of this form of manipulation are led to believe that their sense of reality is false. They are manipulated into thinking that what they know or experienced is untrue. One negative impact of this type of manipulation is that it distorts one’s sense of self and trust in oneself. Often times, the victims of gaslighting begin to question their own reality and sense of truth, doubting their own memory of situations, conversations, etc. Often times, gaslighting tactics start small and only tiny details are altered and manipulated. Over time, this changes and the perpetrator may drastically present a different version of what actually happened or even accusing the victims of lying.
One of the factors that perpetrators play manipulate when gaslighting is the victim’s sense of empathy. Individuals with high degrees of empathy may give more “second chances” than those with lower degrees of empathy. Individuals with higher degrees of empathy tend to understand and interpret the world more through their emotions more than those with lower degrees of empathy. This gets used against empaths as a control tactic. Furthermore, an individual’s sense of self as well as one’s background and upbringing can also influence how susceptible one is to gaslighting.
Over time, a victim’s sense of self-doubt over what they think, feel or remembers gets stronger and more diluted. Their sense of self-confidence gets weaker. This self-doubt further impacts a victim’s sense of mental and emotional well-being. Many times, victims begin to rely on the perpetrators sense of reality as a way to self-preserve because the effort required to confront a gaslighter often doesn’t feel worth it as they rarely concede their chosen perspective.
Individuals who regularly use gaslighting as a communication tactic may very well struggle with their own psychological challenges and possibly even with a personality disorder. One common personality disorder where gaslighting is often found is narcissistic personality disorder. While anyone can use these tactics, gaslighting is an unhealthy pattern of communication in any relationship. If you have a partner or someone in your life that frequently uses gaslighting tactics, you may want to practice caution on how much vulnerability you who to that person.
Gaslighting can be devastating to those who experience it regularly. At its core, it violates one’s sense of trust which can make it difficult to have relationships with others and contribute to patterns of isolation. This isolation, paired with an individual’s eroding sense of self and trust in themselves can make it difficult to stay connected with the parts of oneself that were once valued and cherished. Furthermore, it can ultimately lead some to avoid intimate, close relationships altogether.
If you feel like you’ve been the victim of gaslighting, you may want to reach out to a professional to begin the healing journey and journey back to yourself.